But What Should I Do With My Hands?
Hands down, this is one of the most common questions I get when working with clients. For a species that is defined by dexterous digits, we share a lot of information in the way we express with our hands.
In video meetings, if you have set yourself up properly with your camera at eye level and 2-3 feet distance between yourself and the back of your computer, your hands can, and should, play a big role in your communication. Don’t leave this crucial aspect of expression out of the equation.
A Brief History of Human Hands
From an evolutionary perspective, human hands define our primate species. Since the first grade, we have been taught that our opposable thumbs are a key factor in our evolution into such a dominant position among other, much larger, mammals. Thank you thumbs!
When it comes to our hands however, our abilities range much farther than grasping an object and being able to touch our thumbs to each individual finger (the very definition of an opposable thumb). Our hands are a core part of our expression and represent a vehicle of communication between all humans.
In the world of ballet, we spend hours and hours, perfecting the articulation of our hands and fingers so that we can express a range of emotions through this single body part. American Sign Language is another example of an exceptionally robust vernacular expressed solely through human hands.
Let’s explore some of the ways our hands can communicate when we are in virtual settings.
Set Up
First and foremost, you have to make sure your hands are visible to your audience.
Your lens should be at eye level (not too high, not too low)
You need between 2-3 feet distance from where you sit/stand and the back of your computer
Instead of moving your hands around the level of your belly button, bring your hands up so that they are in line with your shoulders. You don’t want your movements to be off camera.
Signs of Discomfort
We’ve all seen it on others, the wringing of hands, fiddling with the nails, a ring or bracelet, rubbing the hands together, jiggling keys. These are all signs of underlying stress because they act, as nonverbal expert Joe Navarro says, as pacifying behaviors.
Many of us get anxious on video. Be aware of your own hand habits and make sure you are not leaking out anxiety by fiddling around with your hands. Even if off camera, people can see the shifts your shoulders are making.
Signs of Comfort
When someone is at rest and fully comfortable, hands tend to lie still. They might rest lightly on an arm chair, table or on the hips. In our fast-paced world today, it is rare to see hands that are ‘idle’, unless you catch someone experiencing a moment of calm and comfort.
Slower hand movements can also express confidence and ownership. Similar to when someone speaks with more pauses. The added benefit here is that slower movements are more easily caught on camera.
Use this to your advantage in virtual settings - challenge yourself to have your hands express calm and composure. Avoid frenetic hand movements.
Palms Open and Up/Palms Down Hand Gestures
In demonstrations of good will, we tend to offer out our palms. This is a display of genuine honesty and openness. Hand gestures of this sort can help you identify someone’s authenticity in a situation.
Conversely, hand gestures with our palms down indicate more force, less suggestion.
Play around with these nonverbal cues when you are switching between a suggestion to your audience, versus a directive.
To Sum Up
As a general rule of thumb, our hands can amplify our message in a way that is truly powerful. They can also become culprits of what we call ‘nonverbal leakage’. This is true of virtual and in-person communication.
Becoming more aware of your hand habits will be the first way to decide which habits are serving you, and which may be sending a counterproductive message to those you are communicating with.
Make sure you are setting yourself up well with your camera so that you give yourself, and your audience, the benefit of your full expressive range.
I go through other important nonverbal cues relevant to virtual settings in my Virtual Presence Workshop. Register here.